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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Episode 11: Tantra Explained

Tantra Explained
By Christie LaValley for Under the Covers on
***This is in no way is an ad for sex.  These are suggestions for your personal life, not for office visits.

       Since many of my clients who like Reiki and how their energies feel when brought into balance,  ask me about Tantra and its benefits, I decide compile the best of the information I could find.  Tantra is a lot like Reiki works with the energy  of our Chakras for to enlighten , liberate and  to expand our lives through the balance of universal life or love energy. However, with Tantra differs for there are two practitioners, instead of one practitioner and one client, the two are engaged in intimate or intimate sexual relations.  Like Reiki, to practice Tantra successfully, it is best to have a basic knowledge of your Chakra system and how it works.  The practice of Tantra shows you how to reclaim the sexual intimacy that is your birthright and through this most ancient of arts, you have the great opportunity to discover new joys of the erotic.  You will learn expand moments of sexual ecstasy and turn them into a lifetime of sexual bliss. At a time when the stresses, fears and distractions of daily life threaten so many relationships, the age-old practice of Tantra  might show you how to open your heart, your emotions , your sexuality, to improve your current relationship or to land the perfect relationship.
Tantra, born in India more than 6,000 years ago, emerged as a rebellion against organized religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment.  Sound familiar with Christianity over the last 2000 years. At the time, Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of that time, claiming that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that even earthly pleasures such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.
The word Tantra, itself, means "to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave."Tantras are a group of scriptures defining how to liberate yourself and to expand your consciousness. According to Wikipedia, the Tibetan Buddhist Tantric master Lama Thubten Yeshe stated:
     “...each one of us is a union of all universal energy. Everything that we need in order to be complete is within us right at this very moment. It is simply a matter of being able to recognize it. This is the tantric approach.[22    Yoga, belly dancing, singing, feasting and bathing are all seen as ways to enlighten yourself.”
      In this article we will discuss how with Tantra, Tantric Sex philosophies can be used to improve your sex life.  In this particular context of the scriptures, sex is thought to expand  the consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), into a harmonious whole.  Becoming whole with your partner is a unique opportunity to become one for that moment in time.  Do remember it is best to live in your own energy, so being one is just glorious chance to show your love to your partner.
It is important to know that it is not necessary for couples to adopt the Tantric Gods or ways  of the Hindu  in order to benefit from the sexual wisdom of this ancient art.  Just the Tantric sexual practices  are enough to teach us how to prolong the act of love making and help us to utilize potent orgasmic energies to achieve a more enlightened life in general , but also give you a astounding  sex life.
      Like Reiki, which is the clearing of unneeded energies of our chakras with the replacement of good energy either by oneself, from a friend or stranger and is not a sexual act, but an act of love, Tantra is done with a lover in an intimate sexual act of love.  Both are known to have health enhancing benefits. One of our most powerful energies for creating health is Sexual energy and by using sexual energy consciously...we can tap into a true source of youth and vitality.  We may also fix problems that we thought would never be obtainable and worry us daily creating low self worth.
All sexual problems such as impotence, premature ejaculation, lack of libido, frigidity, self esteem and self worth problems and problems with self expression are related to the emotional issues associated with our sexuality.
      It has been stated in both Reiki teachings and in Tantric teachings that nearly all emotional and mental issues or disorders that exist are at least partly connected with our sexuality and or its repression. In trying rid our self of these energies or as you might call them stresses, we seek many temporary fixes like drugs, herbs or tonics but none of these are cures. The only possible cure is a clearing of the emotional and energetic blockages that are the primary cause for sexual problems as well as other emotional issues. To do this we must begin to cultivate sexual energy, be determined to stop its loss and learn to circulate it throughout the body.
How Is Tantric Sex Unique?
To understand where you sit in relations to tantric practice? Ask yourself a few questions?
1.      Sex is:  a) a way of transforming yourself  b) recreational
2.      Sex is :  a) liberating b) a de-stressor
3.      Sex is : a) ecstasy   b) how you achieve orgasm
      Since this article is to educate those with western belief of what Tantric sex is, you have most likely answered all questions with a b answer.  If you answered them with an A answer you already are practicing some form of tantric practice in your love making rituals. Here in the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully. The true essence of Tantric Sex is in transforming our energy body which in turn raises the vibration of the physical body making us more aware of our true being. This is a beautiful thing is you can do with your partner and by doing it together you are sharing cosmic consciousness with your partner physical body’s energies, but also with their subtle bodies’ energies.
     With a raise in vibration of the physical body, it becomes extremely healthy and thoroughly cleanses all of the organs, glands and the central nervous system. It is also believed with the gradual clearing and raising of vibration the practitioner is cleared of negative conditioning from the past. It is also believed that growing up in the confusing  societies here on earth has divorced people from their sexuality, ultimately, leaving them with many emotional traumas. Due to this trauma, we are cut off from an infinite source of power, creativity and expression.
Due to our Sexual and emotional blockages we cannot cultivate sexual energy!
       It is well  known that the ordinary male must ejaculate somewhat often or he will become frustrated, emotionally irritable and may have little control over his mind. He may become totally preoccupied with sex. It is different for the female. Since the female gradually builds sexual energy through the monthly cycle, towards the end of the month, just before menstruation a female will become irritable, very emotional and even endure painful physical symptoms. So the unfortunate consequences of built up sexual energy are basically the same for males and females. We become frustrated and irritable. We must note that the way in which  we dispell the energy is quite  different. The female will evacuate her built up energy through menstruation and the male will evacuate his through ejaculation.
      Now, the  basic idea of Tantra is the exchanging sexual energy with your partner. Circulating and blending it throughout each other’s bodies simply cannot be compared with ordinary orgasm.  It is extremely mystical and very powerful. During typical orgasm, a small amount of sexual energy is built up and then released from the testicles in men and with the ovaries in women, into the genitals. This release of built up energy is where the orgasmic feelings come from.  The small amount of sexual energy that causes these feelings are not be enough to create a full body orgasm
The feeling of orgasm is in fact the feeling of sexual energy being released into areas of the body where there are many nerve endings.

       To obtain a full body orgasm, the entire meridian system must be cleared and the vibration of the energy body must be raised.  In Tantra, this is done through the practice of cultivation and circulation of sexual energy.  Learning this will take time and blockages around the genital region will slowly be cleared as you continue to practice. Eventually, you will be able to build and store much more sexual energy. Later, the stores of sexual energy can then be released into the meridian system during sex and cause some very intense full body orgasms that can last a very long time, and believe it or not with no ejaculation.
     Normal orgasm for females does not ever result in a large scale loss of sexual energy. This is why women are capable of having longer lasting orgasms than men, multiple orgasms or even body orgasms. The female’s orgasm is simply sexual energy being released from the ovaries, usually into the genital area, but not leaving the body. Some women who are mor liberated about their sex life already know how to pull their sexual energy up to achieve full body orgasm.
      However, for the male sperm is made up of sexual energy, so as they are released the sexual energy is released with them.  Sexual energy is  a person’s essence and is known as Jing.  Men lose Jing every time they ejaculate.  Losing one’s essence is ultimately loss of life energy.
Beginning Tantric Sex Techniques
     With standard American sex there is a distinct beginning and ending, with a climax somewhere in between. The average duration of an act of sex is about 10 to 15 minutes. Unfortunately, a women can take about 20 minutes just to reach full arousal. So a short stint of  a sexual experience can be deeply unsatisfying to many women.
      In the Tantric model, the sexual experience is seen as a beautiful dance that has no beginning or end.  There is no goal like ejaculation or ordinary orgasm. It is only about the present moment of being a blessed union of sexual energy with love as its guide . It is for this reason, lovemaking is meditative, expressive and intimate experience in Tantric practices. Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that both women and men can experience several orgasms in one single sexual encounter.
        Some leading teachers of Tantra suggest that even men who experience premature ejaculation can learn how to extend orgasm, and, with practice, they will even enjoy multiple orgasms. Just to throw facts out, 75% of men suffer from premature ejaculation.  To learn more about premature ejaculation and fixes for it check our blog Sex Questions.
       The following exercises are example of ways that will help you reconnect with your body and with your partner in a remarkably profound way. As you move through these steps, do not focus on intercourse as the ultimate goal, try instead to simply enjoy.  Take turns at giving and receiving pleasure using gentle touch and loving words.
     Communication with your lover is the key to discovering what he or she finds most arousing. Try to spend several weeks practicing the Tantric Intimacy Exercises without necessarily engaging in intercourse.  I know this will be hard for some, but this is a great practice for those trying to shed or release sexual guilt, for this exercise builds trust and reawakens sexual desire with no pressure to "go all the way!

Welcoming Love - Opening the Heart Chakra

 First and foremost, you must decide to make time love and sex. Many of us, due to fears of being hurt again, build up walls or establish routines that limit our time spent thinking about sex. One must drop the walls and open the Heart Chakra to accept intimacy.  Make time for each other every week, by planning a sexual rendezvous with your lover. Plan at least an hour or more of uninterrupted time to be together.  In order to reap the benefits of Tantra, your relationship should be top priority.
Create  a sacred place. It does not matter where you decide to spend your hour together as long as you make that space inviting and relaxing.  Take the time to think about what you and your lover need or might desire and make sure it is present.  That way you will not need to stop to find what you need.  Set the stage for love by filling the space with things that will invoke the senses like plush blankets and pillows, candles, fresh flowers, erotic art, finger foods, erotic music and tantalizing aromas. A well set stage call for a fantastic performance.
 Become a God or Goddess by dressing provocatively. Take the time to look your best.  Not only will you feel better about yourself, but your confidence will glow and excite your partner.

Tantric Rituals

Use rituals to help develop intimacy. Begin your sexual encounter with a ritual.  Tantric beliefs say eating or singing or dancing are other forms of enlightenment.   Get a head start and try adding this to your journey. It could something as simple as feeding each other delicious foods or sharing a glass of wine while laying naked surrounded by plush pillows. You could try bathing together. Try anything that helps you to attune to each other.
Bathing is great ritual, take time to wash each other with loving care. Not only does water relaxes the body and is a symbol of sexuality, but in eastern beliefs it helps bring the Sacral- the sexual chakra into alignment. 
       Remember that touch is very important  factor to opening the heart chakra of your lover.  Though, they might have tried to open the Heart Chakra on their own by planning the sexual rendezvous, gently massaging each other is an excellent way to finish opening the heart and to fuse your energies.  Remember these are just recommendation, everyone is different, but the key here is to work on developing new intimacy skills. The most important part of the ritual is to learn to communicate by sharing and helping your  partner feel loved and cherished.
     It has been suggested that in order to fully focus on each other (rather than on the goal of sex), some lovers experiment with various intimate rituals for several weeks before moving on to the next steps or engaging in intercourse.  Though this might be difficult, this is a wonderful way to strengthen the bonds of love and ignite passion.
 The Benefit of Breath
     "The only time we ever think about breathing is when we have trouble doing it, yet conscious breathing can be a powerful aid in sexual growth," according to sex therapist Marty Klein, Ph.D. of Palo Alto, California. Breathing exercises also quiet the mind and help you focus on each other.
      Though it might feel awkward at first try this exercise: Sit quietly in your sacred place, cross-legged, facing each other. Rest your hands on your knees with your palms facing up (this helps you to not feel your knees with your hands, but allows you to take in energy.  Gaze into your lover's eyes and take soft, but deep breaths. Keep your eyes open, gazing beyond the eyes, into your partner’s soul. Sustained eye contact is essential for building intimacy.
      Once you become comfortable with the first part and can keep eye contact, move your focus to paying attention to your breathing. Begin to breathe at the same pace, bringing air slowly in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Remember to maintain eye contact while you breathe together. Practice this exercise until you can sustain eye contact and harmonized breathing for about 10 minutes. You will feel high from the extra oxygen, and you will be in tune with your lover’s energy.  Most common sexual encounters only last 15 and it takes a woman 20 minutes to relax enough to orgasm.  Spending this time helps bring the oxygen to the brain which is needed for female ecstasy.
         Now you are ready to  move to erotic touch
The Art of Erotic Touch
Fully appreciate your partner with erotic touch. Continue to maintain eye contact, don't worry about keeping your breath synchronized, just remember to keep breathing deeply. Guide your partner as you take turns stimulating each other. Describe to each other exactly how you would like to be touched. This most pleasurable practice will help you become better lovers. Make requests in a clear and loving manner. Make sure to thank your lover and let him or her know with words or sounds that you are enjoying this sensual touch.
     Once you become comfortable with each others touch, you may wish to try other objects that   excite you and your partner—a feather, vibrator, massage oil, blindfold, soft fabric, erotica and loving notes to each other are just a few ideas. As you learn to deeply pleasure each other, don't be shy about asking for something different. This is your time for appreciation, experimentation and for taking responsibility for your own fulfillment by asking for what you want.
 From here, you may wish to embark on your joined erotic journey. Create amorous adventures together, exploring new and creative ways to awaken each other's bodies and minds. Then, you will be ready for Tantric lovemaking

Basic Tantric Sex Techniques

      The Tantric tradition emphasizes on getting prepared for lovemaking.  Sharing erotic rituals such as those described above focus on exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate on the deepest physical and emotional levels.  Through communication you are creating the optimal conditions for Tantric lovemaking.
     As you experiment with Tantric techniques, don't worry whether you are doing something right or wrong. This is a stage for learning and experiencing. Ultimately, it is about being in the moment with your lover and your pleasure is what matters most. As you transition into sexual part, the main idea is to maintain a state of sexual ecstasy for as long as possible. Do not shoot for the orgasm or worry about ejaculation. Tantric lovemaking is not result-oriented, but rather, timeless and unstructured.
Maintain a deep level of intimacy and keep it slow. A long, slow build helps men control orgasm and piques women's arousal. According to Tantric teacher, Robert Frey, the longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer men can resist ejaculation. During this time, focus on each other and if your thoughts should wander, gently bring your attention back to the present, concentrating on your lover and the magic of the moment at hand. Continue to gaze into each other's eyes as much as possible.  This is a good time for light kisses and whispering words of love and encouragement.
Bring your attention back to your breath. Resist the urge to breathe quickly. Quick breathing creates arousal, speeding you toward orgasm. Instead, take long, slow, deep breaths from the belly, exhaling slowly. You may match your breath to that of your partner, or try breathing alternately—as you inhale, your partner exhales. This moves energy back and forth and connects you to your lover.
Vary your positions Different sex positions add to sexual pleasure and help balance male and female energies. Releasing each other from gender roles, lovers are free to engage in deeper, more intimate sex.  Allowing both lovers to be passive and aggressive, men realize their sexual potential through surrender, by being soft and open, gentle and vulnerable.  The Women, learns that she too, can direct and initiate. As you experiment with different positions, some male-dominant, some female-dominant. Take time to  explore your capacity to be strong and gentle, generous and receptive.

Freeing Multiple Orgasms for Men and Women

      Yes, it is true. A man can have multiple orgasms. In Tantric sex, there is a focus on the difference between the experiences of orgasm and ejaculation. Although they often happen at the same time, men are quite capable of having orgasms without ejaculating. Learning ejaculatory control is what makes it possible for Tantric lovers to capture and extend the energy of orgasm. You can learn more about this on your own or with a lover, buy reading my blog about multiple male orgasm.
This does not mean that you are never to ejaculate, but that you can control your climax. The essence, say Tantric experts, is to catch a wave of energy and to surf the edge without going over.
Relax and put it all together. Although it sounds impossible, it's important for men to stay relaxed during high states of arousal. If you feel the undulations of ejaculation, take a slow, deep breath and stop making love long enough for your arousal to subside. Relax and try to direct energy from your penis up through your body.  It is with this action that the rest of the chakra can be cleansed and healed.
      By experimenting, you will discover how much "time out" you individually require before catching the next wave. The idea is to allow yourself enough time for the intensity to subside, but not so much that you lose your erection. Since these techniques take practice, expect a few "wipe outs" or failures before you achieve mastery.
    It is often said that a woman's most powerful sex organ lies between her ears. I can attest to that. Since desire can be easily short-circuited by fear, guilt, stress and a host of other distracting thoughts, women often need to concentrate on the feelings of sex, rather than thinking when making love. Taking breaks to pleasure each other, manually and orally, is a great way to ward off any lingering thoughts or diversions and to coax one or more orgasms.
Most women require stimulation of the clitoris and labia (the inner lips surrounding the clitoris) during sex to reach orgasm. Prolonged clitoral touch is often the key to sexual ecstasy for women. Communication is the only way to guide your lover, showing your partner how to stroke you just right.
The Grafenberg Spot (G-spot) is referred to in Tantra as the "sacred spot." For Most women it is located about two to three inches up on the front side of the vaginal channel. When your lover is aroused, slip a finger into her vagina allowing your fingertip to brush against the inner wall. The G-spot is about the size of a pea or a quarter depending on the female with a slightly rippled texture. For some women, gentle stimulation cannot only induce powerful orgasms, but can even cause female ejaculation. However, take care not to over-stimulate this sensitive spot.  Women are not used to expelling sexual energy.
Relax and bring it together.  Remembering to breathe deeply and to go slow while bringing the energy up through the rest of your body, not only does it store the sacred energy but will help you use it to heal the other chakras, your relationships and how you feel about life..
       I hope you have found this information useful to helping you continue to keep your Chakras in balance and to find new ways to heal yourself with the help of your loved one.  If you do not have a loved one yet, knowing this information might bring that loved one to you faster. 
I am here to help you stay in check till then, just remember Reiki is healing as an act of love, not sexual act of love.

Information for this article was taken from the following links. For more on this subject, visit the links

***This is in no way is an ad for sex.  These are suggestions for your personal life, not for office visits. 

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